A Tribute to Gene Hammel
Courtesy of Paul Kay
Note: This piece was performed by Brent Berlin (University of Georgia, Anthropology Department) on jazz piano and Paul Kay (UC Berkeley, Department of Lingusitics) on gut bucket, at a meeting that was held at the Marconi Conference Center in Marshall, California, at the time of Gene's 70th birthday in 2000. This is the first time known to us that three members of the National Academy of Sciences participated in a caper like this one.
Do Nothing ‘til You Hear from Gene
Do nothing ‘til you hear from Gene.
And pay attention to what’s said.
If you’re his grad’uate student, colleague or dean,
The man is over your head.
Do nothing ‘til you hear from Gene.
Maven of anthropology,
Master of median, of mode and of mean,
And Balkan folk harmony.
Now when the question is demographic
The Hammel answer is seraphic.
If your problem is to unclog a drain
You can depend on his brain
Other’s may give advice that’s keen.
In fact it’s said that Joan does, too.
But please do nothing ‘til your hear it from Gene
Because he’s wiser than you.
Gene’s Got It Right
My mentor done told me,
When I was in grad school,
My mentor done told me, Son…
You gotta be leery
Of guys with a theory
‘Cause when the program has run,
There’s only one answer.
Don’t bother to look
It up in a book,
‘Cause Gene’s got it right.
From Ica to Belgrade
From Zuni to Zagreb
Wherever the birthrate grows,
He’s onto the big trends.
He’s hip when the curve bends
‘Cause there is one thing he knows:
Whatever your clan is,
You can't build a nation
Without procreation.
Yeah, Gene's got it right.
See the tribe increasing,
Babies never ceasing, Woowee
(Chorus: My mentor done told me)
Sexual selection
Can increase erection, Woowee
(Chorus: My mentor done told me)
(All: A hoowee da howee)
He’ll follow the trend
All the way to the end.
And, Gene's got it right.
From language to kinship,
From cognates to birthrates,
Wherever the data lead.
Ol' Gene's got it covered.
The things he's discovered
Provide the answers we need.
Whatever your problem
He’ll solve it for you
In a minute or two
'Cause Gene's got it right.